"Life as I Know It"

by: Justin Tison

Where am I supposed to be in the world right now? How many people ask themselves this question? Is life a constant struggle? When are we happy? Are the dead the only people that feel the warmth of true happiness?

Image via WikipediaI am a directionless arrow right now. I am a wind vane swirling around in the wind storm of life. I point nowhere and everywhere at the same time. I am lost. I am confused. I feel as if I have nothing to show for 27 years of life. If this is all there is in the universe, am I going to die happy? Are the people who are afraid of death the ones who have done nothing while they were alive?

I want to give so much of myself to the world. I want to be successful. I want to be proud of myself and what I do. I want those closest to me in my life to be proud of me and what I have accomplished.

I swirl around in the wind pointing towards nothing and everything at the same time. Where do I go? I am burdened with these questions now more than anything else. It’s not as if all my life is bad, it is just the professional aspect that tears at my heart and burns my gut. I fear the future because I do not see where I am going. I do not see my purpose.

When do people find professional success? Am I supposed to be at a certain place by a certain time? The societal burden of being successful, the measures that we as Americans use to determine our self-worth, leave me wanting so much more. They leave my heart feeling empty and unsatisfied. Why cannot I live off the love I give and receive each and every day? I would be one of the wealthiest people on the continent if that measure of personal success was used by those around us.

My life is brimming with love often to the point where I run out of places to store it. It is a career and the prestige that supposedly comes with that I am missing. Why does this leave me longing for so much?

With a life filled with so much love, laughter and happiness I should want for nothing. Yet I sit here, self-worth diminished because I cannot figure out where I belong in the rat race.

I wonder how many people experience the opposite of this. How many people have nothing in their lives but their jobs and experience no love or personal happiness? Are those people happier than I am right now? Is there unhappiness greater? Is it just different but no less stinging and uncomfortable? Do they long for what they do not have? Is it as obvious to others?

I have a lot of questions right now and am searching for the answers. Probably like most people in this world. The struggle continues. The struggle continues to make me stronger. I want more for me in this life and I plan on getting it.

Image via Wikipedia

I just have to figure out the last part a little bit more. Or at the very least get a hold of the wheel a bit better and steer the ship forward, releasing myself from the ropes that hold me down.

Love is in the Air

Ladies and Gentlemen {boys &girls?},

Not since the days of saving up my allowance to purchase the Game Boy have I experienced such excitement over a techy gadget.The IPhone 4 has driven me straight to Crazy Town. I can't keep my hands OFF of it! At first I was unsure due to the lack of buttons, going from the Blackberry buttons to the glass screen felt kinda weird.

Rest assured dear readers, a weekend of: downloading app's, listening to Pandora radio, catching up with the Kardashians, playing Angry Birds, taking pictures of my pups with the ability to post them on twitter immediately, checking facebook and my email all with the "click of a button" was quite the first date.

I fell so quickly in love with it that it was about ALL I did for the majority of the weekend. Only after exploring the in's and out's of this miraculous "game boy" did it's ability to make a simple phone call come to mind! Yes, yes- it does that too...When I forced myself to relax my thumbs, I watched Nine, walked & washed the pups, napped and visited with my parents. What a gloriously lazy weekend!

From this:

To this:

lovers listen to this cute song!

Please friends and family,

I am dying to use the Facetime option on my phone.

It is time for an upgrade folks! Oh, and IPhone...wanna get hitched?

it's monday, y'all...

...but I want to talk about the weekend! Over the weekend both of my sisters and brother-in-law came to visit. Ohhhh- it was so much fun. I am sure my sisters thought I was acting crazy (to be honest I did blame it on the sugar rush I got from Another Broken Egg, where I had french toast with bananas foster on top for breakfast with the Tisons on Sunday morning-oh and don't forget the whipped cream) BUT I am pretty sure I was just giddy from having everyone home. I like to think of myself as free spirit that goes where the wind takes me, like a gypsy woman, but when I am honest with myself I realize my heart sings when I am home spending time with my family.

After spending more time picking out what we were going to wear for our family pictures than it actually took us to take the darn things, we all had dinner together. The Edwards and the Chumleys joined us. It was a combined celebration for Mrs. Cynthia and Ryan's birthday, Lauren & David's baby news, Leslie's last semester of school, Roxanne and Matthew's anniversary, and everyone being happy and healthy and together!

Because of all the happiness in the air, Dad joked that we were about to get a phone call that announced we had won a million dollars and a trip around the world. We are still waiting for the phone to ring about that one, though the weekend did seem surreal, sort of like Leave it to Beaver.

{Hand made scarf by Mother of Pearls, Diane Hudson, especially for Mrs. Cynthia}

{Did you know that Bergeron Pecans are in Kleinpeter ice cream sold at Brookshires?}

{Leslie presented a slide show of her trip to Alaska- with the map and all!}

Love you family!

"Where thou art, that is home."

Emily Dickinson

guess what...

First comes love ...

... then comes marriage ...

... then comes the baby in the baby carriage!

Congratulations Lauren & David!

We are so excited for y'all :)

Don't worry, Mom and I hit up B & N yesterday 

and started researching baby names.

We have it taken care of.

maybe, just maybe

maybe I am a water snob.

maybe it's because I grew up with a Music Mountain water dispenser.

maybe I have complained a time or two

about the tap water not tasting quite right.

maybe that's why Tison bought me a Pur Faucet Filter yesterday.

maybe even the coffee tastes better now.

maybe I'm a lucky girl.

No, I know I am.

the collector

If there is one thing I can say that I have in common with my Dad, it is that we enjoy hobbies. "Hobbies" sounds very vague i know, but understand it has to be. There are too many to list! He is my go-to guy when I am thinking of starting a new project. It never fails. He is bound to have books and supplies that might be required to get started!

His latest hobby is records. Let me tell you. He has it down to a science. The upstairs twin bedroom has been converted into the turntable and computer conversion room. It's quite the setup. This passtime began more than a year ago, and I am sure it has been tweaked to perfection through trial and error over time.  

It all started when we got Dad a record player for Christmas. Being the old soul that I am, I was thrilled with the idea of imagining Mom and Dad in the den listening to their favorite tracks on the ole vinyl. However, he had a different idea all together: Convert every-record-ever-made into an mp3 and download it to the ipod.

This is when the "Gotta Flip" quote became a regular call out from the latest DJ. He gets the conversion process going on one side. Goes downstairs and has dinner, watches tv, what have you... then says "Gotta Flip," and he is off to flip the record to the other side. And so it is. Night after night. Up and down the stairs. Tirelessly collecting.

After all of the albums around the house had been converted, they were taken to the record resale shop where a swap was made. Soon he had accumulated all the songs he wanted from the shop, and he moved on to their friends' collections. It's actually an amazing deal for his friends! He does the work- they get their music upgraded to an easy listening format.

He now has over 3800 songs {and growing} JUST from vinyl.

Dad, I don't know what's next, but I look forward to it anxiously :) I love you.

Happy weekend everybody!!